Foot Loose

Big hair, big earrings, silly plastic belts. Cindy Lauper was embarrassing enough the first time around, we don’t need an eighties revival. But it’s been here for long enough to be noticed, and it’s building momentum every day. Spotted dresses are the latest fashion must-have for girls, but I’m looking forward to getting my hands on a piano-key tie. I was performing in Perth last week and I noticed a nineties revival; everyone is wearing skateboard pants and Nirvana T-shirts. Perth must be one step ahead of everyone else. Or fifteen years behind.
The drive a lot in Perth. I asked a lady for directions to a gig one kilometre away, and she told me to take a taxi. She was a fat woman but I didn’t yet hold it against her. When I asked her if I could walk, she said “I don’t know. I’d never thought of that.” Never thought of moving her legs? It being such an alien concept. She was probably too busy thinking about how many cakes she could fit in her mouth.