Swearing Survey

I have created an online survey consisting of six pages that I want everyone in Australia to fill out. I am trying to find out what is Australia's favourite swearword. Ideally I would like everyone in the country to complete the survey, but I would be happy with just a million.
There are six links on the right. Click on each in turn and answer the questions. The six pages should only take a total of about two minutes, and your results will help to create my festival shows for next year.
Please copy the address of this site and forward it to all of your friends (even the ones you don't really like but whose addresses you keep just to make your contacts list appear bigger).
Thanks

Stop the Car

The only stories we read are about death and destruction. It means that people lock themselves away through fear. We always think the worst, which is why people no longer stop for broken down cars on roads when it’s dark. When I broke down recently in Country Victoria people refused to stop until I pulled out my video camera and explained that I was conducting auditions for a celebrity mechanic TV karaoke show. After three engine tune-ups and a new exhaust I had to turn people away. The power of the lure of fame.
A friend of mine once hit a wombat in The Dandenongs. He didn’t stop. He thought it was just a ruse by the wombats. He expected that once he was out of the car the wombats would gang-rape him and sell him to the koalas. It really is a jungle out there.

Foot Loose

Big hair, big earrings, silly plastic belts. Cindy Lauper was embarrassing enough the first time around, we don’t need an eighties revival. But it’s been here for long enough to be noticed, and it’s building momentum every day. Spotted dresses are the latest fashion must-have for girls, but I’m looking forward to getting my hands on a piano-key tie. I was performing in Perth last week and I noticed a nineties revival; everyone is wearing skateboard pants and Nirvana T-shirts. Perth must be one step ahead of everyone else. Or fifteen years behind.
The drive a lot in Perth. I asked a lady for directions to a gig one kilometre away, and she told me to take a taxi. She was a fat woman but I didn’t yet hold it against her. When I asked her if I could walk, she said “I don’t know. I’d never thought of that.” Never thought of moving her legs? It being such an alien concept. She was probably too busy thinking about how many cakes she could fit in her mouth.