May contain Fish

On my Colgate toothpaste it reads ‘No Colgate toothpaste contains sugar’. I should hope not. Sugar is the worst thing imaginable for your teeth – except for ‘having English parents’. I also hope my toothpaste does not contain poison or asbestos, but the label doesn’t say anything, so who knows what’s in there. Maybe medical companies also need a disclaimer – Our bandages do not contain salt – just to put our minds at ease.
My cereal box also has a disclaimer – This product may contain traces of nuts, eggs, gluten and seafood. I can understand the nuts, but how does a fish end up in a cornflake factory? I know salmon migrate upstream but they must have taken some serious wrong turns to end up at Kelloggs. Still, I suppose a fish head is preferable to some of those dodgy hologram stickers you get inside special packs.